I handle all of my family’s finances, and my husband is happy to give me control over our daily spending.
We never have formal financial “meetings,” but we communicate regularly about our goals.
This approach to our marriage works for us and allows us to both lean into our strengths.
Read more from Personal Finance Insider.
“Is there money in the account for the down paym…….
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- I handle all of my family’s finances, and my husband is happy to give me control over our daily spending.
- We never have formal financial “meetings,” but we communicate regularly about our goals.
- This approach to our marriage works for us and allows us to both lean into our strengths.
- Read more from Personal Finance Insider.
“Is there money in the account for the down payment?” my husband asked as we worked through paperwork for a new car purchase.
I said yes, but then I paused and replied: “But you should probably download the banking app so you can check for yourself.”
“Why?” he asked.
I paused again. In our marriage, I’m in charge of the finances. My husband trusts me to handle our money and he goes about his days without knowing precisely how much is in our account. When he does have a question, it’s often just easier for him to ask me, because I have the full picture of our finances in my head. So, when he asked me why he should download the banking app, I truly couldn’t think of a reason.
“I guess you don’t have to,” I said.
I wondered if other people might think our dynamic is a power imbalance or an issue of unequal emotional labor regarding financial management. But after 10 years of marriage, I also know that our dynamic works for us.
We lean into each other’s strengths, and budgeting is one of mine
I grew up poor and there was a lot of unpredictability around money. Even as a broke young adult, I made a lot of reactive decisions with my money rather than planned, proactive ones. So, the day I discovered the art of budgeting, I felt an overwhelming sense of freedom.
First I used my own budgeting method, and later I discovered You Need A Budget. With my monthly spending in black and white in front of me, I felt in control of my money rather than at its whims for the first time.
I was so excited about my new discovery and I showed it to my husband. My eyes were twinkling, but his were glossed over. It turns out that budgeting and financial planning is super interesting to me, but tedious to him. So, like anywhere else in our relationship, we leaned into our strengths, and I took over this responsibility.
Just because we split responsibilities doesn’t mean we don’t share goals
Common advice tends to be that you should handle finances with your partner. I’ve sometimes thought that we should have monthly budget meetings, or pay the bills together.
However, that just doesn’t feel necessary for us. I love to curl up with